Top Relationship Tips For Couples Spending More Time Together

Coronavirus quarantining has pushed us all to spend more time with our partners than ever before. Although quality time with our spouse is certainly not a negative thing, it is inevitable that challenges will arise as we spend more and more time together at home. Reading up on some top relationship tips can help you to stay connected. Why is it so important to stay connected to your partner during times of stress and change? According to Scientific American,  social connection is a fundamental human need linked to both psychological and physical health, including a stronger immune system, faster recovery from disease and even longevity.

As explained by Psychology Today, adults, like children, have a biological need for connection. Additionally, when we enter into a committed relationship, this need actually intensifies due to the hope that this one special person will consistently be there for us.

  So, what are some of the top relationship tips we can implement when we are faced with the challenge of spending more and more time together?

1. Evaluate Your Individual Needs and Share Them

You may be wondering why your needs as an individual are integral to relationship building. The truth is, this is one of the top relationship tips that sets the groundwork for all of the others. In order to communicate effectively with your partner, you need to reflect on your own needs and wants. Ever heard of the saying “Put your own oxygen mask on first?”  Understanding your personal needs is the first step to getting them met by your partner. This may require you to reflect, journal, pray, or sit in silence and pay attention to the energy you feel around you. What makes you feel good inside? What helps you to feel happy, calm, and energized?  Once you have identified what your individual needs are, it is imperative that you share these needs with your partner. Being able to express yourself is one of the top relationship tips that will be useful in times of change or adversity. Your partner is not a mind reader; it is your job to verbalize what you need from him or her rather than going in with unstated expectations.

2. Plan Times to Discuss Hard Topics 

As you spend more and more time together, it is inevitable that small things may start to bother you about your partner that did not bother you before. Perhaps the sink is messier with the both of you eating at home. Or maybe your partner’s phone conference is taking precedence over your need for peace and quiet in the middle of the day. Another one of our top relationship tips is to consider how your reactions are impacting your relationship. When an adverse situation arises, are you instantly reacting with the first emotion you feel, or are you taking a moment to think about why you are feeling that way? Studies show that when we are stressed, our “fight or flight” response goes into overdrive.  One way to combat this stress response is to actively work to calm the mind before reacting out of emotion. This is easier said than done. In this case, one of the top relationship tips that may work best for you is to have pre-planned nights to discuss hard topics. Rather than bringing up concerns in the heat of the moment, delegating nights to discuss issues will lead to more open and honest conversations. 

3. Carve Out Time for Mindfulness

If you are still struggling with calming the brain in the heat of the moment, you may want to try another strategy to combat stress and stay connected. Another one of the top relationship tips is to practice mindfulness and meditation on your own or with your partner. This will likely look different for everyone and can range from breathwork, to mantras, to a daily journaling practice.  In one study, researchers evaluated the impact of a mindfulness practice on communicative coping skills. Participants completed a pre-test with questions about their current mindfulness practices and feelings towards their partner.  All of the participants then practiced mindfulness exercises taught throughout the study in their own time outside of class. After the 2-week period, students in both mindfulness and comparison groups completed a post-test. Results from the post-test showed that fostering a mindful practice is one of the top relationship tips that works well for emotional management. At the end of the study, participants felt happier and more connected when they were able to mindfully present thoughts and feelings during more difficult conversations. Additionally, skills that tended to encourage self-focused attention only were significantly associated with lower mindfulness and a decreased ability to regulate one’s own public display of emotions.

4. Show Up With Compassion and Empathy

Although we may be aware that communication is an essential part of these top relationship tips, people are not always aware of how to access the tools that lead to better communication. The following list includes some top relationship tips to help keep the lines of communication open with your partner:

• Pause and speak with intention.
• Make firm but gentle requests (try moving from “this is what you’re doing wrong,” to “here’s what you can do to help.”
• Actively listen to your partner. Make it clear that you hear what they are saying by repeating it back to them.
• Encourage small changes and give your partner positive feedback. Empathize with the fact that they are trying to make a change to better support you.

5. Choose to Do Something Every Day to Nurture Your Connection

Although we may be spending more time around one another, more time does not always equate to quality time. Another one of our top relationship tips is to choose to do something every single day to nurture your connection with your partner. Thankfully, it does not need to take money, effort, or extended periods of time to nurture a connection. For some, this may simply mean leaving your partner a note after a long day reminding them of what you love about them. It could also mean going on a short walk together in the morning before your days begin.  For others, nurturing your relationship may mean choosing something out of the ordinary once or twice each week. Instead of watching television together after dinner, strive to do something interactive such as completing a puzzle or tackling a home renovation project. These activities will force you to interact in different ways that may help you to feel more connected. Ultimately, we want to emerge from this crisis with our relationships intact and stronger than ever before. Although our wide spectrum of emotions can be magnified during times like this, choosing to follow one or more of these top relationship tips will help to nurture your connection and set a solid foundation for a thriving relationship. Visit the TelMD Upstream Blog for more insights into your health and wellness. Let’s Make Wellness Contagious!™